Me And Opie – BR5-49

Don’t tell Andy, don’t tell Aunt Bee
They’ll come lookin’ for Opie and me
Tell ’em we’re dead or tell ’em we’re gone
Me and Opie down by the duck pond

Well, Goober brought down some homegrown ‘hay’
It whomped me upside the head, I never felt that way
Aunt Bee said we’d be in dutch
If the sherrif ever caught us smokin’ that stuff

Don’t tell Andy, don’t tell Aunt Bee
They’ll come lookin’ for Opie and me
Tell ’em we’re dead or tell ’em we’re gone
Me and Opie down by the duck pond

I heard a little holler down in the woods
Sounded like a soul sayin’, “Mmm mmm good!”
Moved a little closer, sneakin’ like a squirrel
Otis was slurpin’ up his favorite girrrrrl

Now Otis said, “Boys come sit by the still
I’ll pour you up a jar of that famous swill
If you can’t walk don’t worry no way
Now LIGHT THAT PIPE and pass it my way!”

Don’t tell Andy, don’t tell Aunt Bee
They’ll come lookin’ for Opie and me
Tell ’em we’re dead or tell ’em we’re gone
Me and Opie down by the duck pond

I had to dodge a rock that was hittin’ the tree
Out of the swamp came Ernest T.
Gold tooth flashin’ as he hit that pipe
Out of the blue came Barney Fiiiiife!

Well now Barney come down to nip that still
Wavin’ an axe, a lawman’s thrill
Opie, don’t smoke, you’ll turn yourself green
Give me up a puff and I’ll show you what I mean

Don’t tell Andy, don’t tell Aunt Bee
They’ll come lookin’ for Opie and me
Tell ’em we’re dead or tell ’em we’re gone
Me and Opie down by the duck pond

We all sat there for most of the night
Trying to figure out our left from our right
Here comes Andy and old Aunt Bee
Scoldin’ the hell out of Opie and me

Don’t tell Andy, don’t tell Aunt Bee
They’ll come lookin’ for Opie and me
Tell ’em we’re dead or tell ’em we’re gone
Me and Opie…. Down by the duck Pond.